Will You Give Me the Love I Cannot Ask For?
by Poison.Love.Words
Summary: Thorki AU. Loki hides behind his walls of sarcasm and deception. He aches for someone to see past them, but his fears always seem to get in the way. Of course, this is before he meets a man, with demons of his own, who not only ignores his barriers, but shows him he can to be set free from them.
1. The Best Worst Meet-Cute

Hello!

This is my first time posting on this site (still learning the process). This is going to be a long story of love, angst, and how our pasts do not define us. It is a completed work but I am in the process of editing and will be posting chapters as they are reviewed. All mistakes are my own. All questions and comments are welcome! Enjoy.

Chapter 1- The Best Worst Meet Cute

Loki is purposefully running late; not that he would admit this to anyone. He smirks to himself, knowing his friends will believe his excuse of a last-minute client call. Checking his watch, he determines that everyone should be at least two drinks in. Just enough for them to be slightly unfocused; for them not to notice. It isn't like he doesn't want to join them. It is more a desire to keep everyone from being too observant. A trait Loki typically admires, when it is directed at others and not himself.

Walking into the bar, Loki takes a moment to survey his surroundings. The bar isn't crowded, although 8 pm is probably still early for a Friday night. Loki feels himself relax as he takes in the soft lighting, gleaming off the dark wood of the bar. The bar has an assortment of bottles and glasses lined-up behind the bartender. The floor layout is tidy, with high round tables for people to stand around and low cushioned benches around rectangular tables for groups. The walls are covered with what appears to be hand-drawn sketches and pictures.

"There's the Ice Prince!"

Loki is abruptly drawn out of his assessment by Tony's loud boisterous greeting. He smiles as he spots his friends seated around one of the lower tables.

"We started to wonder if you had forsaken us all," Tony continues with a snicker, "though, I wouldn't blame you after I learned dear Black Widow here didn't bring her riding crop and CFBs."

Loki lets out a quiet snort as he sits next to Natasha, aka Black Widow. He gives her a quick kiss on the cheek. She graces him with a small smile before turning her glare on Tony. Bruce, sitting on her other side, chokes on his beer, trying to hide a laugh at the look. Jarvis glances around before turning to Tony.

"What are CFBs?" Jarvis asks confused, eyes inquisitive and earnest. He unknowingly just saved Tony, at least for the immediate future.

"Oh! My sweet Vision, how you have been at our firm for over a year, and still be so innocent of the world I will never know. Alas, CFBs –"

"Are not something you need to know about at this moment," Bruce almost shouts out as he cuts Tony off, "especially since we have yet to let Loki get a drink." Bruce adds in before Tony could corrupt Jarvis any more.

Natasha stands, smoothing her black skirt as she gives Tony a dazzling smile, "Just remember, since the Ironman here won his last case all drinks are on his tab."

"Well, they would be if I had remembered my wallet." Tony chimes in with a grin, "I guess that means all drinks are on Natasha with the second closest win."

"Tony, I wonder how you ever win with your terrible lying skills. Your Mastercard has been with the bartender since we got here." Natasha bats her eyes at the man with a smirk.

She blows Tony a kiss, grabs Loki's arm, and saunters over to the bartender. Tony grumbles and checks his pockets while Bruce laughs. The whole exchange is nothing new, any time it's Tony's turn to buy he pretends to not have his wallet. For no other reason other than to annoy Natasha. He'd always pay at the end of the night, but now it has turned into a game they always play. One that Loki still hasn't figured out all the rule, if there is even any rules.

The bartender, a young woman with dark hair and bright lipstick smiles as they approach, her shirt reads: 'I drink coffee … for your protection'. Loki likes her at once.

"Loki, this is Darcy the genius mixologist who is helping me put a dent in Tony's bank account." Natasha turns to her, "his drinks will also be on the Stark tab."

Darcy gives a finger wave, "What'll it be? Beer, wine, fruity froo-froo, prune juice?" She runs her eyes over Loki while putting her finger to her lips, "Wait, I know what you'll like. Just a moment."

Loki watches Darcy as she turns and grabs a glass. Natasha laughs next to him, "I'd let her go. She decided on all our drinks and so far, the only complained was from Tony. He claimed his was watered down. Darcy handed him a glass of water for his next round and told him that's what complaints got. He's yet to return to the bar, sending Jarvis up instead."

Loki is not terribly thrilled about letting a stranger choose his drink, but he doesn't want to make a big deal over it. He once again looks around the bar, noticing more people have entered the bar. His eyes land on another bartender who has stepped behind the bar. Loki finds his eyes traveling the length of the new bartender. He is tall and BIG, well over 6'4" with imuscles/i. Casually dressed in dark jeans, a red tee shirt and boots, does nothing to hide his physique. His arms flex as he reaches for a bottle on the top shelf, Loki can see the play of muscles along his back. His blonde hair is in a messy bun with tendrils framing his face. Loki's eyes zero in on his backside as he reaches under the bar before standing back up. His face lights up with laughter at something one of the customers say. Loki feels his face heat up when the bartender's eyes seem to lock with his own.

He flushes even more as the man smirks at him. Quickly, he turns back to Natasha and Darcy as a pint glass is placed in front of him, "Coffee Stout with a hint chocolate. Tips can be added to the tab at the end of the night." She gives a flirty wink before moving to help another customer.

"She nailed that one," Natasha bumps shoulders with Loki, "Come on Ice Prince, we should go back before Tony starts any other antics. Besides Jarvis is drinking, and I want to see how many it takes for him to remove his tie." She walks back toward their friends, high heels clicking, as Loki grabs his drink and turns … right into a solid wall.

He spills his drink on himself … and the other (gorgeous) bartender.

"I am so sorry!" He exclaims with no small amount of mortification.

"Whoa, you okay there?" A rich, slightly accented voice asks.

They both speak at once. The bartender's voice is deep and even, with just a hint of an Australian accent. Loki feels his face heat up again as the bartender places his hand on Loki's arm, to steady him. Loki tries to swallow as his mouth goes dry in such proximity to this Adonis. This close he catches the scent of fresh earth and rain. He's probably making a complete fool of himself as he gets lost in eyes that are a clear, bright blue, shining with obvious amusement.

Loki quickly grabs some napkins from the bar, "Here, let me. I am so sorry. I swear I'm not usually so clumsy."

"Oh no worries. It's getting a bit crowded." The bartender smiles at Loki as he reaches down to pick up the pint glass, "It's better to have a spilt drink than a broken glass."

Loki meanwhile, reaches to blot at the man's damp shirt, unfortunately that is not the part of the bartender's anatomy he encounters.

Loki's eyes widen as his hand brushes over the man's firm backside.


	2. Awkward Flirty and Phone Numbers

Chapter 2- Pay No Attention to the Lady Across the Bar

Loki can only stare at his hand. Well, to be honest he is memorized by the strong yet supple denim covered rear his hand is currently touching. His mind goes blank as his mouth open and closes soundlessly a few times. What a time for his supposed silver-tongue to become tied. Thankfully his brain finally catches up and realizes he's been practically groping a stranger's arse.

As Loki fumbles with removing his hand and tries to find his voice, the bartender straightens up with the pint glass. He doesn't say anything as he places it back on the bar. Turning around the other man seems to give Loki a slow once-over with an easy smile.

"You know, most people would ask for a name before trying for first base." The bartender's words might have been off-putting, if not for the wink he gives Loki.

Loki silently curses his fair skin as he feels his face heat up, again. Although, the Gods must be taking pity on him as a rebuttal snaps into his mind, "I was always told to not let an opportunity slip through my fingers." He smirks at the bartender.

For a moment the bartender stares at him, then he bursts into laugher. The sound of it does something funny to Loki's insides. It is rich, and Loki decides he has a new goal in life: hear that laugh more.

"Aye, I've heard that too. Which is why I am going to buy you another drink and inquire after a name." The man walks back behind the bar and motions Loki over to his side.

Loki notes the bartender waves over a busboy to the spill. He also realizes that he doesn't know the man's name, it is starting to become annoying to only think of him as, The Bartender.

"I would be flattered at your offer, if not for the fact that you work here. Not only that, but you were the cause of the demise of my original drink." Loki feels his confidence returning as the bartender barks out another laugh.

"Oh, you are an Imp! Would my drink offer be worthier of your time if you knew I had planned to buy you one even before you accosted me?" He winks again as he begins to add liquids to a glass, putting on a little show juggling the bottles. He continues in an exaggerated whisper, "Besides, my drinks are far superior to Lady Darcy's."

"OIY! I can hear the lies you are spewing over there! Just remember who taught you everything you know," Darcy tells him from her section, "Also, he is going to hate that swell, you oaf." Loki laughs as Darcy yells across the bar, "And before you forget tell him your NAME!"

Loki swears the bartender has a blush high on his cheeks when he turns around to store the liquor bottles; there is no evidence of it when he turns back to Loki. The bartender places a blue concoction in front of Loki.

"Thor."

"Excuse me?"

"My name, it's Thor. Now are you going to relinquish yours, or is Imp more your style?" Thor's smile can almost be considered a smirk, if it isn't for the good humor shining in his eyes.

"I would much prefer Lord Master of the Universe, but you may call me Loki." He leans over and takes a sip of the drink. Typically, he would never ingest something so sweet but for some reason he wants to please Thor. He also figures it has enough liquor he won't be needing another drink all night.

People are starting to crowd around the bar and Loki sees Thor is looking around, taking stock of the room.

"As much as I would love to cater to you the rest of the night, but it seems I am doing Darcy a disservice," Thor tells him with a sigh as he turns his back on Loki for a moment. Spinning back around, he has a stack of napkins and hands them to Loki, "I am loath to leave you alone on your journey back; so, take these to ease my fears." With that Thor gives Loki another wink and goes to help another customer. Loki feels dejected as he navigates back to his friends.

They are all looking at him, with varying degrees of excitement, as he approaches. Bruce is the first to speak, "Please tell me you got his number."

Loki doesn't say anything, and the answer must be on his face. They all go quiet before Tony cuts in, "Ice next time you want to attempt a 'meet cute', ask me. That was a blatant abuse of alcohol. Trust me, I can help you do much better, and your suit will thank me."

"Tony, the only time I will ask for your advice is when I need a quick escape after a one-night stand," Loki rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his drink.

Everyone laughs, even Jarvis as Loki settles back on the bench. He places the napkins on the table by Natasha. She stops laughing and nudges Loki in the side.

"Uhhh … Loki did you happen to look at these?"

"No. Didn't think a napkin was worth so much attention."

"I don't know about that Loki," Natasha picks up the top napkin, "this one definitely requires your full attention." She hands it over to Loki with a small smile.

Loki feels his heart rate increase as he takes the napkin.

I'd say call me and we can go out for drinks

but I think dinner would be safer.

123-9876

-Thor

Loki quickly places the note in his pocket. He looks around at all his friends before grabbing his drinking to take a sip, "Tony, it looks like your services will not be needed. It seems I am quite capable all on my own."

The group laughs, expect Tony, who only sips his whiskey with a pout. The conversation shifts onto other topics and Loki places his drink down and relaxes into his seat. He figures he's had a little more than one-fourth of his drink and can leave it alone for a bit. He listens in as Natasha tells everyone the antics of her newest client.

As the night progress, he tries to subtly glance back at Thor, but discovers he is at the wrong angle to do so unnoticed. Loki finds himself engaging in a heated debate with Natasha and Bruce over reading a book verses watching the movie. Jarvis joins in as he loosens his tie. Bruce groans and slips Natasha a few folded bills. She smirks at Bruce and slowly slides the money into her blouse.

Given some time, Loki finds himself annoyed at Darcy. Any other time he would be in awe of her attentiveness. She brings over drinks to the group any time they seem to be running low. Making it pointless to return to the bar. Loki instead peers over his shoulder, this time catching a glimpse of Thor at work. He continues to watch until he realizes Thor is staring back at him. Loki is pulled away from staring at Thor when Natasha actually giggles; apparently watching all of Loki's antics. He glares at her, which only causes her to giggle more. Just before Loki is able to give her a contemptuous remark, Jarvis stands up.

"Well, it's been fun, but I have work to do in the morning."

"Oh Vision, stop your lies! It's Saturday and the office will be closed." Tony is quick to remind him.

"That is all true, but someone has me planning the office Halloween party and I need to get started." Jarvis gives Tony a pointed look.

Tony stares at him and scratches the back of his neck, "You do realize it is the second of September?" Tony purses his lips before waving a hand at Jarvis, "Never mind Jarvis, you do you."

Bruce snorts at this and whispers to Natasha about office husbands. Loki stands up and begins to gather his things, "Come on Jarvis, I'll give you a lift home."

They bid everyone good-bye with a promise to text once they are at their respective homes. Loki takes one last look at the bar and see Thor is no longer there. A quick scan of the room shows he is also not amongst the other tables. Trying not to be too disappointed, he does have Thor's number after all, Loki heads out the door.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3- Think on the Past and Look Toward the Future**

As much as Loki enjoys hanging out with his group of friends, he is always comforted to get back home. He does tend to be on the introverted side and taking time for himself is one of the only ways to recharge his social batteries. He takes the stairs tonight needing the exercise to help relieve some of his giddiness. He places a hand in his coat pocket, checking for about the seventh time that the napkin is still there. Reaching his door, he gives himself a little shake realizing he is acting like a love-struck teen. His apartment is on the third floor of a modern complex with an attached garage, pool, gym, and a doorman. Loki knows, in his heart, all the extras are extravagant, and he is indulging himself in things he once thought unattainable.

Growing up had not been a pleasant experience; what with a mother who abandoned him and a father who barely acknowledged his existence. Loki's paternal grandmother had been the only person who gave him any form of affection. He would spend summers, in his youth, with her in the mountains until her passing the year he started high school. He learned how to cook in her kitchen, how to grow vegetables in her garden, and how to knit in her living room. She left him her cabin and land upon her passing. Loki visited once during college but found the memories too overwhelming to stay. The cottage was cared from by a local handyman, and Loki received monthly reports to ease his mind. Recently, he had been feeling the urge to take some time and visit again. Of course, that would depend on if he could force himself to stay away from the office.

Opening the door, Loki calls out "So what trouble have you gotten into today?"

Two sets of eyes seemed to glare at him from the prominent bay window. He turned on the light as his two cats trotted over to greet them.

"Well hello, Frick and Frack. I see you were too busy getting your beauty rest to throw any wild parties." Loki bends down to pet Frick who is winding around his legs as Frack sits primly in front of him waiting.

He got the cats from a shelter about four years ago. They had been part of a litter found on the side of a road. The two of them were inseparable from the beginning, and the shelter feared they would not be adopted, even though they were kittens. Loki fell in love with the mix-match pair from the moment he saw them.

Frick is a small orange striped tabby with a bottomless appetite. He's openly affectionate and constantly follows Loki around the apartment. Frack on the other hand is a sleek tuxedo with a personality bigger than life. She's haughty and reserved; openly distrustful of any human other than Loki. One of her favourite things to do when Tony visits is to drag his shoe into the litter box. She is very fond, almost possessive, of Loki and always sleep on his legs at night.

After giving both cats some attention (aka ear rubs and filling their food bowls) Loki's phone plays the Law and Order knock, Natasha's text tone. Loki has a moment of panic; did something happen after he left? Did she catch Thor lip-locked with another man or worse Tony? Wait, Loki is not usually this obsessive over a guy he just met. Typically, he is someone who does not worry this much over interpersonal relationships. What is up with him?

Swiping his screen Natasha's text pops up: Did you contact him?

Loki should have known she is just noisy. Tipsy Natasha seems to _love_ gossip, especially anything related to romance. He sends her a quick reply.

 **Loki: No. I just got home**

He gets a reply before he can put his phone down.

 **Natasha: SO? You had three floors to send flirty texts.**

Loki pauses at that, even Tipsy Natasha wouldn't use "flirty." His phone goes off again, twice.

 **Natasha: Ignore that. Tony thinks he is cute.**

 **Natasha: Anyway he has a point what is the hold-up?**

Loki stares at his phone. Did Natasha (and maybe Tony) have a point?

 **Loki: He just gave me his number an hour ago. Desperate I am not.**

 **Natasha: LIES ICEy LIESss.**

Okay, that time Loki knows its Tony, he is the only one to call him Ice.

 **Natasha: What our dear Drunk Tony means is we all saw the smolder between you two. So for once don't over think it and just contact Thor.**

His phone plays the roadrunner meep meep - Oh boy Tony.

 **Tony: Ima gonna give ya 5 more min before I find him mysef and sign your god praises**.

The message gives Loki a jolt, based on the text Tony is drunk enough to do it too. Not that he wouldn't do it sober; but drunk Tony might add on some of his own flirting.

 **Natasha: Before you freak out Bruce just distracted Tony with something shiny. I know why you might want to wait on this, but it has been three years.**

She's right, and it's time for Loki to move on. He figures what the hell, it's not like they can't find another bar if this doesn't work …

 **Loki: Ok ok you win. I'll text him.**

 **Natasha: Good. He's leaving now. Tony is still engrossed with Bruce's new tablet. Let me know what happens.**

How she knows that Thor is leaving, he doesn't know, but then again Natasha always seems to know everything going on around her. Loki takes a deep breath, it is just a text. Just a few words on a screen. Has he always been this neurotic? Frick hops into his lap as Loki types out a message.

 **Loki: I know you said a call might lead to dinner. Does that mean a text could end with lunch?**

He regrets it as soon as he sends it. Doesn't even say who the message is from, Thor could have handed out a dozen napkins to different guys. Before he spirals too much his phone chirps.

 **Thor: Well, that depends …**

Depends?! On what?! Loki is just about to send a message when his phone starts to ring. "Oh, what have I gotten myself into?" He asks Frick, as the cat stretches across the couch.

"Hello …?"

"Hey! I'm driving home and would rather just call than attempt to use this hands-free feature."

"Is that so? Here I thought you just wanted to hear my voice again." Loki found it slightly easier to talk to Thor when the man was not right in front of him.

"Haha, you caught me. "Thor's laugh though still delightful is not as good as in person, "I was hoping to hear from you. I think our conversation got cut off too soon."

"That's only because you had to be a good person and actually do your job. It's a shame really, I was all set to distract you for the rest of the night." Loki says this in a low voice, adding a purr to his words.

"Is that so? I vaguely remember your way of distraction results in a mess." Thor's voice deepens on the word mess.

"You seem to like that type of man that could enjoy the distractions that result in a mess."

Thor's chuckle is rich, sending shivers down Loki's spine, "Imp. I can tell you can be trouble. And since I happen to like a bit of trouble in my life, why don't you join me for lunch tomorrow?"

"Hmmmmm …. Let me check my calendar. Tomorrow you say? Ahh. It looks like you are in luck I seem to have an opening."

"Great! How do you feel about Mexican?"

"Mexican happens to be one of my favourite food groups. What time do you want to meet up?"

"Does 1 work for you? I need to help stock the bar in the morning and should be free by then."

"I can meet you at the Sierra Madre at that time."

"What, not Taco Bell? Well, I guess the Sierra Madre will have to do."

"Here I thought you said I would be trouble, you never mentioned you would be a tease."

"Don't worry I am not much of a tease, usually."

"Huh, I will be the judge of that come tomorrow."

"Hahaha, you do that, Imp."

"Why do I get the feeling I will be stuck with that name?"

"No idea what you are talking about." There is the sound of a door slamming, and Thor sighs, "I hate to be the one to end another conversation, but I just got home and need to do some things before tomorrow."

"Oh, that's okay. This just means we can save up all the deep dark secrets for lunch."

"Make a list for me tonight. I look forward to seeing you again tomorrow. Good night Imp."

"Good night Thor."

They hang up, and Loki does a little mental dance about having a date tomorrow. As he gets ready for bed he sends Natasha a quick text:

 **Loki: I have a date for lunch tomorrow.**

 **Natasha: That's awesome Loki! See that wasn't so difficult.**

 **Loki: No, it was easier than getting Jarvis away from the sticky notes.**

 **Natasha: Oh very funny Mr. Highlighter.**

 **Loki: Yeah yeah, anyway thanks for being a pain in the ass.**

 **Natasha: for you, any time. Someone needs to make sure you don't turn into a crazy cat lady.**

 **Loki: uh huh, I'm going to bed now. Night**

 **Natasha: Good idea get your beauty rest. Have fun with Mr. Tall and Built tomorrow.**

 **Natasha: I'll be sure to run a background check on Monday. NO sex until then.**

Loki laughs at that last text. He gets the feeling she already did the background check and knows more about Thor than Thor might know about himself. He is grateful to her for giving him the illusion of the necessity for waiting. Although, he doesn't _plan_ to jump into a physical relationship right away.


End file.
